It’s an embarrassing story. It was my 13th birthday, and I was beginning to get into music. Knowing I was a Christian, my friend Thane bought me cassette tape^[1] of an artist I had never heard of. His name was Steve Tayor, and the album was called On the Fritz. When I got home, I opened the cassette and popped it into my Sony Walkman^[2]. The first song to come on was “This Disco (Used to be a Cute Cathedral)^[3]. It was a catchy tune, but then came his lyrics:

Sunday needs a pick me up?

Here’s your chance

Do you get tired of the same old square dance?

Allemande right now

All join hands

Do-si-do to the promised boogieland

Got no need for altar calls

Sold the altar for the mirror balls

Do you shuffle? do you twist?

cause with a hot hits playlist, now we say

This disco used to be a cute cathedral

Where the chosen cha-cha every day of the year

This disco used to be a cute cathedral

Where we only play the stuff you’re wanting to hear

I was horrified, and I hadn’t even gotten to his song, “Life Boat” yet.^[4] How was this garbage sold in a Christian bookstore? Was Steve Taylor even a Christian? How could people not see that he was mocking the church and promoting the opposite of Christian values. How could he even suggest that we throw disabled people out of the boat?^[5]

At school the next day, I was candid with my friend and gave back his birthday present. I told him that, as a Christian, I couldn’t support this artist. A few days later, Thane bought me a replacement gift of a different artist I had never heard of, which says something about his friendship. This time it was Michael W. Smith’s self-titled album Michael W. Smith.^[6] And when I popped that into my Walkman, though the music was much more boring, his lyrics were manna to my holy Christian ears.

I don’t remember how many years went by, but sometime in college, I heard someone listening to Steve Taylor. And this time, as I listened, some region of my brain powered up for the first time, and I started to make my way through all of Taylor’s discography^[7]. How could I have been so wrong? This guy was one of the funniest, thought provoking and brilliant lyricists of the 80s Christian music era. The message of his songs was often the opposite of what the surface of the song seemed to be saying. And when he was mocking things like the church, as he did in “This Disco”, it was because the church deserved it. It was because Steve loved the church that he poked fun of it selling its soul to pop culture to try and be relevant. He was using satire. Humor for smart people. Humor that tries to provoke people to reexamine what they are doing. Humor that points out hypocrisy. Humor I didn’t get at age 13.

Ironically, those same Christian bookstores which horrified me for carrying Steve Taylor when I was 13, did go on to ban his 1987 album, I Predict 1990 because of his song, “I Blew up the Clinic Real Good”^[8]. They thought it promoted blowing up abortion clinics, which was happening at the time. Taylor was pointing out the absurdity of calling yourself prolife while killing people for your beliefs. I wasn’t the only one too dumb to get satire.^[9] 

Steve Taylor is a jester for the King of Kings. A modern-day Jonathan Swift and Erasmus. And besides putting out solo albums and bands he has fronted,^[10] Steve also produced albums for groups like the Newsboys, Sixpence None the Richer, Guardian, and Chevelle. And Steve has produced some Christian movies with one of them even starring Michael W. Smith.^[11] How’s that for coming all the way back to my 13th birthday?

So, Thane, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was too dumb to appreciate your gift. I’m doubly sorry for so rudely giving you back my birthday gift and telling you I was too Christian for it. Not one of my better moments. I’m sure my 13-year-old self would give Steve Taylor a lot of material for a pointed song – and I’d deserve it.

So, get on Spotify and start listening to Steve Taylor, even if it hurts, because the medicine is good.^[12]

---

^[1] This was 1986! If you don’t know what a cassette tape is, google it.

^[2] You may need to google what that is as well.

^[3] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27GtELzfd7c&list=RD27GtELzfd7c&start_radio=1

^[4] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXqLt-Avbnw&list=RDUXqLt-Avbnw&start_radio=1

^[5] An actual suggestion from his song “Life Boat.”

^[6] In case you didn’t know what a self-titled album is.

^[7] Society had moved on to CDs at that point. If you still don’t know what those are, you know what to do. 

^[8] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ew2StiSD8s8&list=RDew2StiSD8s8&start_radio=1

^[9] By the way, the album title I Predict 1990 came out in 1987 with all the crazy preachers predicting the 88 reasons why Christ was going to return in 1988. Guess who was the true prophet on that one!?

^[10] Chagall Guevara & Steve Taylor & The Perfect Foil.

^[11] The movie is called The Second Chance, and it is not totally cheesy.

^[12] A good place to start is his Now the Truth can be Told best of album.